Do you think others can hurt you?

Change the specs and see the change. (Perspective)

February 2022

Key points

• ·      Perspective towards certain situation or people matters. 
• ·      Rational thinks helps you to make better decisions.
• ·      Identify your thinking patterns to analysis and respond to others in more positive way.

Due to lock down, some have being with their love ones for longer time and some were alone without family. Covid – 19 have brought some people close or separated them completely. Many expectations were built as well as broken during this lock down.  

Are you flexible? 

Flexible means not in physical terms but mentally. Have you asked this question to yourself? For example do you want certain things to go according to your wish? Or do you want your partner to behave the way you want?

Certain people get mad if things don’t go according to their wish. This reaction is not build now but it’s an ongoing process since childhood. We have learned to expect from others. Children expect their parents to pay attention to them, teenager expect their parents to buy them whatever they want, parents expect children to behave how they want and if certain things doesn’t go according to certain expectation it create negative emotions.

Real problem is not others or situations but expectations.

Other’s behavior or situations doesn’t really hurt you but your expectations from them hurt you. (Read again). It our expectations or high bar leads to sadness. Expectations can lead to anxious feeling, anger and negative emotions.  Negative emotions affects our mental health to greater extends. Happiness is in our hand, so don’t give power in others hand.

Life never goes according to our wish. What you expect from others is not that they should behave like that or everything should happen according to you. It’s just next to impossible. It’s very difficult for us to accept uncertain events or certain behaviors of others because people fix in their mind ‘’ he/ she should behave like my expectations. Our own thoughts are more hurtful.

We can reverse it by just changing our perspective and thinking patterns. Rather than thinking positive or negative, think rational. Change the perspective of looking towards certain person or situation.  It will help to break negative chain of your thoughts.

Change the way you perceive or think about certain event or people. If situation is going against you, if you can change it then work for it, if not then just accept it. It will help you to manage negative emotions like anger, disappointment, frustration, sadness and concern. Change the thinking pattern like “this should (event) happen in my life” to “I will work my best” but if it’s not happening that is also acceptable. “My wife should apologize me” (Expectation) but this won’t happen rather than getting disappointed, accept your partner.

Life is full of uncertain events. It never goes according to our wish then why to get disappointed with expectations. Change the perspective and get rid of expectations.  It will help to build better relationship. Flexible attitude is always better than overthinking and disappointment.

Expectation is the lock and acceptation are the key to it.